What Happens in Week Three of Sober October (and How to Get Through It)
Agatha Atom
Week three of Sober October, 15 to 21 October, is when most people quit, and the reason is not willpower. It is that the novelty has gone, the benefits have flattened into normal, the fridge you stocked on 30 September is empty, and the weekend of the 17th is the first one where the month feels long.
The fix is boring and it works. Restock, change category, plan the weekend, and count the days done rather than the days left.
Here is what week three feels like, why the habit research says it is the hard one, and the exact restock, priced and in stock.
Why is week three the hard one?
Three things land at once.
The benefits stop being news.
In week one you sleep better and notice it. In week two the mornings are better and you notice that. By week three, better sleep is just sleep, and the thing you gave up starts to look like the only thing that changed. The Sleep Foundation's summary of alcohol and sleep is a useful reminder of what you are still getting even when you have stopped noticing.
The habit is not formed yet.
The idea that a habit takes 21 days is a myth. The study most people are half-remembering, by Phillippa Lally and colleagues at University College London, found it took an average of 66 days for a new behavior to become automatic, with a range from 18 to 254 (Lally et al., European Journal of Social Psychology, 2010). Day 15 to 21 is therefore exactly the stretch where the new behavior still costs effort and the old one still feels like the default. That is not a character flaw. It is the middle.
The fridge is empty.
This is the one we can see. Last October our two mid-month emails, on the 17th and 18th, were the worst-performing sends of the month at a fifth of the revenue of the launch, and it was not the offer that changed. It was the week. People stop looking for tips in week three; they are looking for something to drink.
What does week three feel like?
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Bored, not tempted. The craving in week one is for alcohol. The craving in week three is for variety.
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"What is the point" on a Tuesday. The novelty is gone and the finish line is still two weeks off.
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The first real social test. The weekend of the 17th and 18th is, for most people, the first weekend where they have been invited to something since the month started and did not have a plan.
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A slip that turns into a stop. One drink on the 17th becomes "well, that's that" on the 18th. The month does not end on a slip; it ends on the story you tell yourself the next morning.
How to get through week three: five things that work
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Restock on the 14th, not the 21st. Put an order in on the Wednesday so it lands before the weekend. Week three is the whites and sparkling week at Better Rhodes, 15 to 20% off from 15 to 21 October, which is not a coincidence: it is the week the fridge needs it.
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Change category. If you have been on beer for two weeks, switch to wine. If you have been on wine, buy the Sir James 101 Alcohol-Free Gin & Tonic 4-pack ($23.99). Same rule, different glass. Variety is what the boredom is asking for.
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Make one thing. A recipe night breaks the pattern. The white wine spritz below takes a minute.
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Plan the weekend on Thursday. Decide on Thursday what you are drinking on Saturday night and where. A decision made at 9pm on Saturday in someone's kitchen is not a decision.
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Count the days done. Fourteen down. Not seventeen to go.
And one thing not to do. Do not buy a $35 bottle of non-alcoholic spirit to "make it interesting". Spirits were 4% of what our customers bought last October, and a half-used bottle on a shelf is the likeliest way to waste $35. Buy the wine.
The week three restock, priced
Everything below was in our warehouse every day of the last 30 when we checked on 9 September, and all of it is 15 to 20% off from 15 to 21 October.
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Bottle |
Price |
Why now |
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$16.99 |
One of our best-selling whites and 15% of its year sells in October; if you buy one bottle, this one |
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$24.99 |
Napa; the bottle for the person who thinks non-alcoholic wine is a compromise |
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$19.99 |
German, dry, new this August |
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$16.99 |
Off-dry; the Thursday-night bottle |
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$24.99 |
Italian, rounder; the Sunday roast white |
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$19.99 |
The Saturday bubbles |
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$11.99 |
The topper for every spritz and cooler this week |
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$7.99 |
Turns any of the above into a spritz |
Any two or more of them in the Better Rhodes Market are 10% off at checkout, on top of the week price, and orders over $125 ship free. The Better Non-Alcoholic White Wines 6-Bottle Collection ($121.99) is the whole table in one box if you would rather not choose.
White wine spritz. Three parts Giesen Non-Alcoholic Pinot Grigio, one part Fever Tree tonic, ice, lemon, mint.
Sparkling cranberry cooler. Fre Sparkling Brut over a splash of cranberry juice and a squeeze of lime.
What about the weekend of the 17th?
Go. Take a bottle. The Libby Sparkling White in a bag is the easiest thing to walk into a party with, because it looks like what everyone else brought and it pours like it.
Monday the 19th is International Gin and Tonic Day, and the two Sir James 101 G&T packs are 20% off for the day. Put one in the fridge for the week after, which is the reds week and the run to Halloween.
If you already slipped
The day is lost. The month is not. The rules are yours, and the useful one is "a slip ends the day, not the month". Restarting on 1 November because of a beer on the 17th is how a 30-day success becomes a 16-day failure. Fourteen days done is fourteen days done.